What is arguably tougher than going through a divorce? How about planning to get a divorce? It can be challenging to know that your divorce is inevitable, but to be unsure what you should or should not do (or legally can do) to protect yourself and plan ahead to give yourself the best odds of a positive outcome in your divorce case.
Here are some pre-divorce tips to protect yourself, your family, and to make your divorce easier when and if you eventually file.
Protect but do Not Raid the Finances
It is not uncommon for a jilted spouse out of spite to change account passwords, or empty bank accounts, when news of a divorce comes. You should take steps to protect any private information that requires passwords, such as email and online bank accounts. If you are able, you may want to save a small nest egg that has enough money to get you through two or three months, in case the worst happens. This may be a good time to open a separate account in your name, if friends or family are giving you money to help out.
You should never be the one raiding and emptying bank accounts–even if you think you need the money more, or that the money is “owed” to you. Let the Courts decide that one.
Try to Avoid Leaving the Marital Home
It can be awful living under the same roof as the person from whom you are seeking a divorce. Eventually, you or your spouse will have to move. If you move out on your own, however, it is a possibility that the Court may keep you in that situation during the divorce.
If you have kids, they will likely remain in the home from which you have moved. That means you will have voluntarily moved away from your children, which does not legally prevent you from getting custody, but will make it harder. Of course, none of this applies if you are fleeing from domestic violence, in which case you should get yourself to a safe situation as quickly as possible.
If you do move out, try to find somewhere that shows you are planning for the children to be with you for extended periods. It is hard to argue to a court that you are serious about custody and visitation of your three kids when you have rented a one bedroom for the year.
Be Amenable With Your Soon-to-be Ex
If you have a contentious relationship with your ex, this can be a challenge. Try to put as much in writing as possible, including email and texts (which are evidence, so never text anything you would not want to be put in front of a family law judge). Try to avoid letting your spouse engage you into being hostile.
Of course, compromise has its limits, and you should not allow a soon-to-be ex to manipulate you, disrespect your schedule, or use the children as pawns to get back at you. Remember that the spouse who seems most willing to foster a healthy relationship with the children’s other parent will have an advantage in any custody battle.
Many people see family law attorneys even before they have filed for divorce. Contact Agnes Rybar LLC for help and guidance so you know what to expect in a family law case.
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