When you think about getting divorced you probably think of the actual things in court and during the divorce case that will happen, and you prepare yourself for what is to come. But many people do not realize that often, the key to a successful and stress-free divorce, are the things you do before the actual divorce case is filed.
Think of this as a battle plan, so that your affairs are safe and are in order before you even file your divorce. In fact, some of these things may be good to do, even before you and your spouse have actually discussed divorcing, but when you know in your head that it is an inevitability.
Remember also that many of these things are preparing you for a “worst case” scenario; it is better to be prepared in advance than surprised or completely unprepared later on.
- Get your paperwork together – On the chance that once you file for divorce you need to leave the property, or you have a potentially vengeful or spiteful spouse, you want to have access to the paperwork that you need to carry on your affairs. Of course, nowadays that paperwork may actually be digital, so you can include “collect important passwords” here, as well.
- Have a “nest egg” – Again, this is preparing for the worst, but it does happen that once a divorce is filed, an angry spouse empties bank accounts or liquidates investments. In the short term you may not be able to do anything to stop that from happening, if you and your spouse are co-signers on those accounts. But what you can do is stash away money for yourself, if possible, so that you can carry on affairs and resettle yourself for the short term. Your family law attorney will then help you get back any “stolen” money back later.
- Keep records – By “keep” you can scan or take pictures of important documents, like financial records or bank account records. It also means to take notes. Did your spouse say something vengeful or hurtful, or threaten you or the kids? Did he make a comment about his assets? Make notes to yourself about what is happening in the household, with dates, to help your memory later on.
- Keep the kids out of it – The kids do not need to know in advance that you are thinking of divorcing. By letting them in on that “secret” in advance, it may look like you are already using the kids against your spouse. Stability is crucial to the kids, so it is best not to give them “advance warning” that you will be divorcing, before your spouse knows.
- Have somewhere to stay – Once again, we are preparing for the worst, and the goal is for you to remain in the house and for your spouse to leave. But angry spouses who are served with divorce papers often change locks or obtain a restraining order to remove the other spouse out of the home. Gather up the spare keys, but be prepared to have somewhere to stay in the short term, if you are locked out or removed from the home.
We can help prepare you for your divorce, before your case is even filed. It is never too early to get legal advice. Contact our New Jersey family law and child custody attorneys at The Law Office of Agnes Rybar LLC today.
Sources
https://www.brides.com/steps-to-take-when-preparing-for-divorce-1103276
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